So, it's gotten to the point, and I knew it would happen eventually in New York, where my optimism feels a little bit bedraggled, a little threadbare. I've been in the running for a few great jobs but haven't landed one yet (though there's a good one I'm being considered for - there's my optimism again), getting into freelancing here is proving more fraught with hurdles than I expected, and my energy just feels scattered.
I think scattered may be the nature of the city, though. If you've ever called or emailed someone in New York and not gotten a response for more than a week and thought, what's wrong with this person? I can tell you. It's the city. There's so much going on, so much exciting work to do and places to check out and events constantly and your subway rides are deceptively long, that the time just goes, drains away. A week has passed and you still have unanswered emails. It's a thrilling, rollicking tornado of an existence for those who are truly "doing" the city, but sometimes it causes a person to pull back and wonder why there's never enough time.
I think my apartment situation is a big part of the malaise I'm feeling. I've been ever-so-ready to move since my roommates have devolved into not the greatest - loud music, stuff left all over the living room, dishes that sit in the sink for days, always running around like they're too fabulous to take out the trash - it could be worse, but it's gotten worse than when I moved in, and it's been wearing on me. Plus the boys that live in the neighborhood and catcall like crazy bug me, too. (Yesterday one was driving alongside me, persisting in offering a ride. I declined politely the first five times and then he made some skeezy comment and I exclaimed, "Stop harassing me!" "Harassing?" he said, befuddled).
Sabra and I were supposed to move into our new apartment Sept. 1, but now it's been pushed back til the 15th, and I was really just ready to get out of here. I am going to look at the apartment again tomorrow, so that's exciting. I'll make sure it truly does look 15th-ready (dear god, it better be). I'm just ready to be downtown and away from these current roommates!
Well, I guess that's all my complaining for now. Back to being pluckily optimistic.
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Encouragement, encouragement, encouragement!!!!!! All things change, when they are great, eventually they will take a downturn, and when they are down, they are bound to get better!
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Aw, thanks, my best loyal reader!
ReplyDeleteActually I'm feeling good about things now - that was just a momentary low point.
Thanks for your encouragement and love.
It's not just me then with the unreplied inbox filling up to guilt-inducing levels, I feel better now.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not just you! And when I wrote about people who are getting the most out of the city, you were the example that popped into mind.
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